It might be hard to believe but launching a book is weirdly stressful.
I know. Boo Hoo. “Poor” Sharon, she launched a a book and now has to deal with the stress.
That’s kind of how I would have perceived things, except for the fact that I’m shocked and awed about how anxious I am about the whole published book thing. Someone equated it to being a new mother (I KNOW…not the same thing but bare with me). You work on something (a book) for a LONG time and then…it’s out. Published. Into the world. To do it’s thing.
Equating the whole process to “giving birth”. I get it now. Then comes the “postpartum” depression. I’m serious! (I KNOW it’s not the same as having a real baby…it’s an analogy!) Now what?? Will people like the book that I labored over??
I’m SO tired!!
Then comes the anxiety. Will people like it? How many are sold? What if I made a mistake in the book and people get food poisoning or worse??? Ok – so that won’t happen. But…what if people discover I’m a fraud??? That I don’t have a clue? What if people don’t get the stories in the book? They aren’t moved by my experiences and don’t think the funny parts are funny?
It’s the little bird on my shoulder (it’s a crow) telling me that all the work I did will fail.
So…I check. And I check. I search – because I’m new at this and because it’s the first, maybe I’m not as confident as I could be.
My current metric of choice? AMAZON.
I’m totally freaking out about Amazon metrics.
It’s SO stupid to a certain point, because most of the books haven’t been sold on Amazon. That’s right. Of the thousands (thousands!!!) of copies that have been sold (take that you evil crow!), most have been sold by sellers other than Amazon. Really! So, why do the Amazon metrics seem to consume me so much? Because, while I had a serious amount of control over what went into the book (I even did the photographs myself) – the rest seems to be a freight train that I have no control over. And that, my friends, is stressful!
I have to let it go. I just can’t seem to. The past few days I’ve been obsessing over the category placement by Amazon of Shabbos Under Pressure.
If I weren’t obsessing this would be hilarious. I mean… Jewish Literary Criticism??!!! But that stupid, stupid crow on my shoulder keeps whispering “If it’s not placed properly, no one will find it and it will FAIL, I TELL YOU! FAIL!!” (It’s done in an evil voice if you can’t tell.)
You KNOW you’re losing it when you think of writing a review about your own book. I didn’t, don’t worry, it was only a nano-second thought – and I didn’t. But it made me really realize how close I am to losing it about this whole thing.
The more I thought about it, the more I understood the need to write this out. Figure out what is going on, map it, own it.
It’s been kind of cathartic – reading this post from an “outsiders” perspective. After re-reading what I wrote, I know I really need to stop checking. Stop obsessing. What will happen, will happen. I did my due diligence and now with some exceptions it’s really out of my hands.
I wish it were that easy. So…baby steps. I’m going to try to check only once (ok…maybe twice) a day to see where things are. I’m going to focus on everything else around me and write new posts for Kosher Everyday and Everyday Gluten-Free. I’m going to pay more attention to my family and try not to have every conversation center around my book. I really will.
You can help (BIG CHEESY GRIN!)… here’s the (affiliate of course) link…you know what to do!
Seriously…thanks for all your support. It means a LOT to me.
One last thing…please excuse the dust on this website…it’s still under construction!!! Thanks!